Eternal source of dignity and elegance, the Cat never conceals her beauty nor is she capable for the only trait she lacks is humility. A creation of such extraordinary, breathtaking, vibrating mystery, surely it was never God’s intent that the Cat should ever bow her head or become meek with modesty. For being conceived in conceit, sanctioned in haughtiness by the highest of all mystical powers, the Cat’s only obesiance is in responce to her own whim and will.
Legendarily diffident, stridently indifferent to all things but her own ideas, when the esteemed Cat does deign to bestow her warmth and affection upon those of us of the human ilk, she does so in utter and guileless sincerity. Despite her conceit, she knows not deceit, openly and honestly acknowledging all things worthy of her attention and ministrations. All others may take leave or endure as they may as she silently glides into her long and blissful daytime rest but be certain her bowls are sparkling clean and full before she embarks on her clandestine and nocturnal forays.
People would do well to follow the noble Cat’s stride. To esteem themselves more highly and know they truly have the right to be at home in the confusing world; to stand shoulder to shoulder with all others but be less concerned with standing head and shoulders above the rest. This, the head above, is the Cat’s milieu along with gracefully commandeering the best seat in the house to use as her personal nail file. Unless it’s the cherished four hundred dollar silk jacket which just cost you twenty to have dry cleaned. Seek her in such places for this is likely where she’ll be found, sprawled languidly upon your treasures and wherever she wishes to commission lush palanquins of her own configuration and discretion.
And never expect her to vie for your affection. Such a stupid notion! The Cat may demand her due, rightly or not, whether it’s her human’s adoring and well placed strokes or another small serving of fresh cream. She may do so when she pleases. Usually at three in the morning. There are rules which one must observe. Never forget the Cat is never to be ignored unless, of course, she’s at rest. She may choose to test your skills in a round of a raucous game devised by her exotic Egyptian forebears countless generations before. The one best known as “In Or Out, Kitty, Do Please Make Up My Mind!”. Only she knows the rules to this complex battle of wit and patience; only she may pronounce the winner. You have only to accept it will not be you and therefore senseless to question if you’ve been cheated.
The Cat is always to be forgiven all crime and sin, for such martyring notion such as punishment is never, never to be exacted. You may gently and politely extricate her from your favorite cashmere sweater then usher her back onto the silk jacket but at no time, for no reason is the Cat ever to be doled punitive measures. Certainly this is a crime against nature and sins only we bumbling mortals commit. She is to be admired, even respected for the havoc she may sometimes choose to wreak, the mayhem she may suddenly cause and solely because only she can.
If her cunning, even cruel and murderous ways should repulse you, leave quietly and leave her to her savagery. But should she choose to share her quarry with you, be gracious. Praise and thank her for her courage in ridding your dwelling of unwanted creatures. The only exception, the one and only time the praiseworthy and perfect Cat may be chastised, not punished, is if she should develop a penchant for birds. If she does, she must be curbed but only with great unction and tenderly. Profound and abject regret must be expressed with ceremonious prayers of penitence offered to the Great Creator. As you fasten the tiny bell to her collar weep, for your tears are appropriate, but remain resolute. Grieve until she decides to return to her home and you. She will. With indignity but without remorse, she will return home. And never forget that it’s only for her and her maker to understand why she, created so perfect in all ways, was not granted wings to fly.
It may serve you well to remember that, without coaxing or effort, the Cat can straightly ascend heights ten times her own or higher. Humans, less worthy, cannot ever compete. We sink to our knees, even fall on our asses.
The Cat always lights on her feet.
~ doggoddess
